There are times when you learn about someone whose
life was just as fucked up as your own (or worse) and there is this strange
sense of normalcy that comes over your whole sense of self.
Most of the time, I feel as if I’m living in
a different plain from most people, kind of like living with a Star Trek
translator widget.
Sometimes it’s like I
speak not only a language different from those around me, but like even the
sounds that create the voice which makes communication audible is foreign or
alien.
There is a desperation that comes
over one’s entire being when one senses the chasm between oneself and the rest
of the world.
It is not necessarily a
bad thing, a little lonely perhaps, not entirely bad.
Mostly, I just figure that the majority of
people I encounter are fucked up and haven’t evolved to my level.
Because, of course, there is absolutely
nothing wrong with me.
I’m perfectly
normal.
It’s those around me that are
fucked in the head.
I finally figured
out that life is about living and that is all.
There is no grand scheme.
No grandiose
sense of responsibility to those around you.
It is just about living.
In the Picture
of Dorian Grey, Oscar Wilde, wrote that we are meant to be selfish. He stated that
our purpose is to be self indulgent and concentrate on experiencing
pleasure.
There is a sense of truism in
his theory.
I believe that we are meant
to enjoy our lives.
I do not; however,
believe that this (or any) enjoyment is meant to be derived at the expense of
others.
I believe our goal as human
beings is firstly and foremost to be genuinely human.
Genuinely human is an ideology which can only
be achieved if one first defines what being genuinely human means.
The first question is what it means to be
human.
Man is first an animal, second a
mammal, thirdly man is spirit.
Spirit is
the collective knowledge which is passed down through genetic memory or social,
cultural or familiar integration.
I think our “quest” or purpose is to be truly
human.
There is great comfort in the knowing that there
is no predestined future. There is;
however, consequences. A future may be
predicted simply by close observation of behavior. There is within each human the “knowledge” of
cause and effect. There is an enormous
amount of information hidden within our genetic make up which already knows
everything there is to know. There is
thousands of years (if not millions) ingrained inside each and every one of us
at the cellular lever. That “intuition”
we get when confronted with a decision or a situation which makes things “feel”
right or give us a “gut” feeling is our collective cellular memory giving us a
nudge.
To be continued...
